Don’t Lets Chart

A podcast in which two men in their thirties, confused and terrified by the world around them, try to make sense of it through the use of charts, top ten lists and mindless trivia. Or, at the very least, while away another half hour before the grave. Join them, won’t you?

Don’t Lets Chart 108 – McKellen For Robocop

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Presenting The First Annual 32 Fabulous Years of 1987 Show. 

Why? Dont worry about that. Just be dazzled and wowed by the bright colours and flammable materials of the era as Ben and Phil run down the first half of our listener’s selections for the best things of ’87 – thats right, FIRST! – you lot sent in some fantastic suggestions and we didnt want to skimp on the best so its our first exciting two-parter. Like Timelash. Ok, maybe not that…

In this one there’s grudging acceptance of The bloody Raccoons, we meet the Son of the Invisible Man, indulge the finest side of Prince, question Corey Feldman‘s career choices, predict a riot, get bored senseless by Willy Fog, give Stephen and Hugh a warm hand on their entrance, fail to get the point of M.A.S.K, see Johnny Marr run, delight in Martin Short being a bankable movie star, count down choose our contender for the Spectrum vs c64 top ten from this week thirty two years ago and two very different movies go head to head in perhaps the strangest quiz yet. So prick up your wossnames, pump up the volume and listen up! 

Don’t Lets Chart 107 – Slimer Stinks Of Onion IDST

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Sponsored by Nixon’s Crisps. “The crisps that are crisps”.

It was the philosopher Ian Reelbigfish who once sang “Sell out / with me oh yea / sell out / with me tonight”. And never has a truer word been skanked as your hosts Ben Baker and Phil Catterall decide it’s time to cash in on the giant success “Don’t Lets Chart” clearly is and try and hook one of those big sponsors. So why they decide to mention ghosts, “On the Buses” and controversial stamps is anyone’s guess.

Also in the mix are such topics as fancying a toilet ghost, podcasts vs. Blakey, Roger Taylor must die, a promotion from the American Wheat Council, Pacmanology, David Bowie does a terrible thing, a haunted mattress, when Harry S. Truman is the better option, the stench of Slimer, Robert Johnson enjoys a delicious Zoom lolly, terrible atrocities by mail, the first episode of “Get Bent Phil“, John Barrowman is confused for his TV character and all the fictional crisps you can eat. Plus: your chance to help us fund this stuff as we can’t work in fast food all our lives.

Don’t Lets Chart 106 – Rotating Hannigans

It’s a bank holiday special as for the first time Ben and Phil are in the same room to record one of these. We enter “The Meet Zone” (or is that “the Meat Zone”?) for a rundown of what Nottingham has to offer, the strange world of beer naming and our second listener-voted chart as you decide the worst double acts of all time, a mixed and occasionally very wrong list.

Plus: visiting Batman‘s house, the new Alan Bennett play, Horne and Corden‘s body swap adventure with Foster and Allen, windmill facts, the original Planeteers, Frank Sidebottom helps the natural body processes, Spitting Image Vs. Hale and Pace Vs. Oasis, the other Chuckle Brothers, volunteering is questioned, Big Breakfast wars, Ben has some opinions on Cannon and Ball, more jokes about Just Juice and somebody mentions Noble and Silver for the first time in fifteen years.

Don’t Lets Chart 105 – Runaway Puppy Massacre

‘Boogie Legs’ Ben and The All-New Some Biscuits Crew are sure in for a s-s-spooky time when they investigate Old Man Catterall‘s haunted mine to look for the secret hidden treasure of pop culture charts. And as they’ve just run past the same hallway twelve times, it must mean it’s an Animation Special! In today’s episode, we asked you for your top ten biggest Hanna-Barbera jerks, learn about movies got inexplicable TV cartoon transfers and burn down the house in answer to ‘how many Steamed Hams memes is too many’?

Plus: Green Day Vs. Smash Mouth – an ill-advised battle, taking responsibility for Rambo, the most 1991 thing in the world, Skinner‘s burger rampage, Aliens….for kids!, who “did”, a car full of teenagers solving crimes with some mist, enjoy some smashing organ work, Shmoosplaining, a guest appearance from Garreth F Hirons from the terrific Retrospecticus podcast and not a single fighting puppy in sight.

Don’t Lets Chart 104 – Little Jenny Knives For Eyes

Ben‘s not content with the ratings for the last few episodes so he’s decided to refit the whole show to be one of those murder podcasts that are doing insanely well in the charts. However, neither him or Phil are comfortable with the whole “murder” aspect so instead pivot to dangerous toys, murderous songs, the deadliest Marvel superheroes of all time and erm…Richard Nixon. Plus: Hannah Montana‘s crippling addiction to lead reign of terror, Sophie Ellis Bextor Vs W.A.S.P, Enormous Ken’s best cinematic role, hammocks for kids, the first time anyone has mentioned “Fully Booked Interactive” in twenty years, the tastiness of glue, Iron Man‘s terrible crimes, actually nuclear toys, Peter Engel‘s creative process, torpedo babies, a shameless attempt to tie into “Avengers: Endgame”, what Butts Carlton did next and no Easter whatsoever.

Don’t Lets Chart 103 – Inhaling Some Chuckle Musk

Hey you! Are you interested in dead celebrities, Yorkshire heroes and ridiculous Happy Meal toys? Well stick around anyway as Ben and Phil look into why under no circumstances should you let someone fire a gun directly into your face, which action star is incomplete without his arm squirter and why Ben isn’t the greatest Yorkshireman of all time. Plus: Kevin Keegan face moulds, grease-stinking Furbies, Matt Le Blanc has an accident, a lot of impressions that all seem to be Michael Parkinson, Kermit squirts, Hitler‘s last word, a demand for medals and the magical secrets contained within “Disney Cup”.

Don’t Lets Chart 102 – I Thought You Said Rapid Rodney

And so it was that our brave idiots Ben and Phil returned for a second adventure that the law of sequels suggests will probably not be as good as the first. With that in mind they look at Rotten Tomatoes’ Worst Sequels Ever with guest appearances from Batman, Jaws and the actor Stan Collymore. There’s also a tribute to this weekend’s Wrestlemania as Ben tests Phil’s near-absent knowledge of wrestling then outrage as Britain gets pies wrong. Plus: Jamie Kennedy‘s scientific methods are put to the test, steak is dismissed, Twin Peaks begins, Rob Schneider gets paid, the Shockmaster drops in and a shocking opinion about Marmite.

Don’t Lets Chart 101 – Clooney’s Catbox Comedy Company

We can all agree that pranks and April Fools’ jokes are invariably god awful and not in the slightest bit funny – but what would you do if it was the Hollywood superstar George Clooney pulling them on you? Ben and Phil put on their best “the actor Richard Kind” masks to explore the comedy back catalogue of The Cloon. But before that, we take time to celebrate Phillip Schofield‘s birthday and the first ten programmes he ever introduced on Children’s BBC from Mike, Mop and The Moke to The Kwicky Koala Show. Plus: authentic American accents, Hanna Barbera’s cruelty to animals, teacher beating, bad bumper stickers, cat constipation, the ill-advised american remake of Paddington and an alarming amount more.

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